Threshold of Forgivness
by denise1
Summary: After falling victim to Apophis, Teal'c needs to work a few things out with his friends


This was all Adi's idea, an attempt to knock some holes in writer's block.

Threshold of Forgiveness

By

Denise

Sam sat in her lab trying to pretend she was concentrating on the test results before her. She fought the urge to check her watch, knowing that she wasn't going to like what it said. She shouldn't feel this way, she knew that. But she couldn't help it.  She suspected the others felt the same way, but oddly enough, none of them had talked about it either.

Ever since they'd brought Teal'c back, they'd each spent a few hours each day, talking to him, trying to break through Apophis' programming. And they'd all had a stellar lack of success.

In fact, if she was being honest, she'd almost say Teal'c was enjoying their sessions. She always knew her friend was a man of few words, but over the years, his words had never been as hateful and biting as they were now.

Her alarm beeped and she sighed, logging off her computer with resignation. It was her scheduled time. She got up and slowly made her way from the room. These sessions weren't working, even the colonel had admitted that the other day. She wished they could get a hold of Bra'tac. Maybe the decades old friendship between the two men would be powerful enough to break through the programming.

She walked down the hall leading to the detention cells and came to an abrupt stop. "Oh crap," she muttered, hurrying forward. The two men that were supposed to be guarding Teal'c's cell were lying on the floor, the door hanging ajar. She quickly checked both men, relieved to find them still alive.  At least he hadn't sunk to murder. She hit the alarm on the wall, quickly looking around. He couldn't have gone far, the base wasn't that big.

_The base is built to keep people out, not in._

Suddenly knowing where he'd go, she broke into a run. "Teal'c!" she cried, rounding the corner and seeing him trying to open the door to the access ladder. "You can't do that."

He turned, his eyes cold and set. "You will not stop me," he declared.

"They'll stop you at the surface. With deadly force," she said, desperately wishing for some back up to arrive. She knew she couldn't stop him, his strength and physical prowess being no match for hers.

"Then I shall die in service to my god."

"Your god is planet pizza. You can't serve a corpse."

"A god cannot die."

"Oh please. First of all, they're not gods, you know that. Hell, you've taken great pleasure in telling people that."

"I have never…"

"And second of all, you've killed a few yourself," she continued, ignoring his interruption.

"You lie!"

"No, I don't. Remember Cronos?"

"Cronos did not die," he stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He looked pretty dead to me when we showed his corpse off to the people of Juna."

"It was a trick," he insisted.

"And Seth was a trick? How about Hathor or Sokar? They're all dead because of us."

"Show me the body of Hathor or Sokar," he demanded.

"They're dead, Teal'c," she insisted.

"Their deaths are nothing but a filthy Tok'ra lie," he spat, stepping towards her. "Like everything that comes from you. You're not even human anymore. A half alien creature whose presence is only tolerated upon this base in deference to who your father is," he said, towering over her.

"That's not true," she said, slowly backing away until she had to stop, the unforgiving surface of the wall preventing her retreat.

"You know that it is. Are you aware of how many people despise you? How many wish that you would go away. That you would die?" She struggled to keep her face placid, not showing how much his hateful words effected her. "Do you know how much I despise you? The stink of the Tok'ra upon you disgusts me. The only reason I allowed myself to be recaptured by you and O'Neill is so that I could drag you back to my lord. For some strange reason, he desires you. I shall enjoy watching him break you. And he shall, just as he broke Shau'ri," he said, his voice low and bitter. "Perhaps if I please him, he will allow me to watch." He'd moved closer to her, close enough to touch.

"Hold it!" she heard. Ignoring her hurt feelings, she raised her leg and stomped on his foot as she struck out with her arm, deliberately striking him in his vulnerable pouch. He cried out and she pushed him away, trying to get out of his reach. His massive arms snaked around her waist, pulling her backwards, the other hand grasping her throat. "Let her go," O'Neill ordered, his armed zat aimed unerringly at them. Sam could hear the click of guns behind her and knew that they were surrounded.

"I will kill her," Teal'c said, tightening his hand around her throat. Instinctively, she wrapped her hands around his arm, trying to lessen the grip of his hand.

"No, you won't," O'Neill said, stepping forward.

"Do not mock me," Teal'c said, moving to put his back to the wall. "I will return to my god."

"Gonna be kinda hard," O'Neill said. "Seeing as he's smeared all over Delmac." Teal'c tensed, his hand squeezing Sam's throat even harder. As she struggled to breathe, she met O'Neill's eyes, catching the small flicker of movement. Nodding slightly she closed her eyes, somehow hoping that the pain of the zat would be somehow lessened if she didn't see it coming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack silently winced at both Carter and Teal'c collapsed to the floor. "Secure him," he ordered, moving to check on his second in command. She was predictably unconscious, as was Teal'c. He knew the Jaffa wouldn't stay down for long, Junior tended to give him a bit of immunity to zats. But while Teal'c seemed to shake zat blasts off in stride, he knew they knocked Carter for a loop, usually rendering her unconscious for at least fifteen to twenty minutes.

"Take him down to the holding cell, I want him in restraints and I want to know how in the hell he got out," Jack ordered.

"Colonel?" he heard Janet say, summoned by the alarm. "What happened?"

"Zat," Jack said, holding up the weapon. "Teal'c had her hostage. It was the only way to break it up without someone getting killed."

Janet nodded grimly, reaching out to take Sam's pulse. "We'll take her to the infirmary just in case," she said, motioning the orderlies forward. She turned to Jack. "There wasn't another option, sir," she said. "She'll be fine, a bit of a headache maybe, but she'll be fine."

Jack nodded, getting to his feet to allow the medics to bear Sam away. He raised his hand to his head, belatedly realizing that he still held the armed zat in his hand. With a heavy sigh, he disarmed it, awkwardly looking for some pocket to shove it into.

Giving up on his mission, he settled for holding it, making his way back to the armory. This was bad, bad in so many ways. He and Hammond had already been fighting the NID to keep Teal'c with them, and this did nothing more than give the NID all the more ammunition to fight and get Teal'c transferred to one of their facilities.

They had to do something, and they had to do it soon, or they were going to lose him forever. If they hadn't already.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam slowly opened her eyes, groaning softly when the overhead lighting set off waves of pain through her brain. God, she hated zats. Really, really hated zats. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself up on her elbows, opening her eyes again to confirm what her nose and ears had been telling her. Yep, infirmary all right.

She took a quick inventory. She was still in her clothes at least, that was a plus. That suggested that she hadn't been admitted, just brought there probably because it was a nicer place to wake up than on the floor in the corridor.

Taking a deep breath, she sat up, slowly swinging her feet over the edge of the bed. She felt like hell, really felt like hell. Unbidden, she heard Teal'c's words again, unconsciously shivering in reaction.

_Do you know how much I despise you? The stink of the Tok'ra upon you disgusts me. _

It wasn't his fault, she knew that. It was all part of the programming, an example of how twisted Apophis really was. Teal'c really didn't hate her. She knew that. They'd spent too much time living in each other's pockets when they were off world for him to have hidden feelings this passionate.

Hell, he'd been her confidante for years, sharing his knowledge of the goa'uld with her, allowing her to express her fears. He'd helped her understand the weird things that were filtering out of her memory. He'd supported her when she'd tried to explore those memories. He'd backed her in going on that first mission to meet the Tok'ra.

Had he done it to support her? She remembered him saying that Apophis had tried to track down the Tok'ra for years, that he'd killed several of Teal'c's men in punishment for his failure. What if he'd supported her following her memories just to gain access to the intelligence?

No. No, he wouldn't do that. He hadn't done that.

_I shall enjoy watching him break you._

He didn't have to watch, he'd done it all on his own. Wormed his way under her defenses. Subconsciously using their years of friendship and comradeship to breach her defenses. He knew precisely what buttons to push, exactly how to hurt her the most.

She'd always known that he was ruthless, that he was a cold blooded son of a bitch who'd kill someone in the bat of an eye. Perversely enough, she'd taken comfort in that over the years. She'd known that, no matter what, he'd be there to watch her back. That he'd be able to do the things she couldn't quite pull off. She knew that he'd help her, without ever judging her or finding her inadequate.

Now, instead of being her greatest ally, he was now her worst enemy. Because he knew her, he knew just how to hurt her. He knew her weaknesses, her fears. The next time she faced him, he'd have something over her, she knew that.

She didn't want to face him again, ever. Her stomach roiled at the thought. He'd won. Damnit, he'd won. She hadn't broken through his programming, he'd broken her.

"Carter?" She opened her eyes to see O'Neill standing a few feet away, his brow creased with concern. "You ok?"

"Yes, sir. Fine," she said sliding off the bed. "How's Teal'c?"

"Fine," he said, stepping closer. "Pissed but fine. He played the 'I'm sick' card and tricked the guards. The good news is, they're not gonna fall for that cliché again."

She chuckled slightly, imagining the lecture the two guards were going to get. She knew for a fact, they'd all been briefed on just how strong and wily Teal'c was. She started to move past him, stopping when he laid his hand on her arm. "I heard what he said," he said. "We aah, we were right around the corner."

"We?" she asked, horrified that more people had heard Teal'c's words.

"Just me and Castleman," he said. "The others didn't hear a thing," he reassured her.

"It's not his fault," she said, not quite sure why she was motivated to defend Teal'c.

"Don't mean the words don't hurt," O'Neill said. She looked down, crossing her arms over her chest, not quite sure what to say. She didn't want to admit that he was right, Teal'c's words had hurt, a lot. More than she really wanted to admit. "Look, I was talking to Hammond. We both agree that this 'do it yourself deprogramming' isn't working."

"What are we going to do?" she asked, struggling to hide her relief.

"We called the Tok'ra. They think they have a line on Bra'tac. I figure if anyone can get through Teal'c's armor, it's gonna be him."

"That makes sense," she said, frowning a bit.

"So…we figure there's no real use for any of us to try and talk to him anymore. Let him stew until Bra'tac can get here, although Hammond did suggest that maybe MacKenzie might want a crack at him."

"MacKenzie?"

O'Neill shrugged. "He thinks he can help. And the fact that Teal'c really doesn't know him…"

"Means he can't get under his skin," she said, stinging from the perceived accusation in his voice.

"Means that he's impartial. Teal'c has manipulated every single one of us from the moment he contacted us on board the ship." He tightened his grip on her arm, forcing her to look up at him. "Myself included." He didn't let her go until she nodded, acknowledging his words. "Daniel and I are going to get something to eat. Why don't you join us?" he invited.

She shook her head. "No, sir I should….why not?" she said as he rolled his eyes.

"That's the answer I was going for. Topside in an hour?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Think we can sneak out of here before Fraiser gets back?"

"No," Janet said, pulling back the curtain. "But you get points for trying."

"Janet, I'm fine," Sam said.

"I'll decide that," she said, motioning towards the bed. "Anyone that comes in here unconscious, gets a checkup. And the sooner we get started, the sooner you can go," she bargained. She shot Jack a pointed look.

"Oh, yeah right I'll aah…." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Go and…."

"I'll meet you topside in an hour, sir," Sam said, giving him the out which he gratefully took, turning and fairly running from the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam entered the results from her latest tests into the computer. SG-14 had brought back a very promising looking artifact from P2X345 and this was the first chance she'd had to study it, the last few days being so busy with Teal'c and Bra'tac. She was honestly glad that the Rite of Malshuran had worked, but it had been a grueling several days for all of them, both physically and mentally.

A movement caught her eyes and she looked up, her heart lurching a bit as she recognized Teal'c standing in the doorway to her lab. "Major Carter," he said.

"Teal'c," she said, sitting up. "I didn't know Janet had released you yet." She tried to interject some caring into her voice. She knew why he was here. She'd known he'd show up eventually. The problem was, she didn't want his apology, didn't want to feel like she had to forgive. Because she wasn't ready to forgive, not yet. The hurt was still too fresh. And their friendship was too important to her for there to be lies between them.

"Indeed she has, upon the condition that I spend several hours in Kelnoreem," he said, stepping into her lab.

"Yeah, that could be a good thing," she said, trying not to let her unease show.

He stopped just on the other side of her work table, his hands clasped behind his back. "Major Carter, I said and did several reprehensible things while under Apophis' control. I wish to…"

"You have nothing to apologize for," she interrupted.

He shook his head. "Indeed I…"

"It wasn't you, Teal'c," she insisted.

He stared at her for a moment, then nodded, accepting her declaration. "As you wish," he said.

She smiled slightly and he turned, leaving her lab. Once he was gone she closed her eyes, taking a moment to massage her suddenly aching head with her hand. "I wish," she muttered. "I wish I could forget."

Outside in the hall, Teal'c heard her muffled words. He closed his eyes, trying to deny the stab of remorse they caused. Hearing the footsteps of another, he straightened his shoulders, burying his pain behind a mask of indifferent calm.

Apophis' treachery had enacted a heavy toll upon he and his friends. Silently he resolved to do whatever he had to do to repair the damage. For if he couldn't, he feared the goa'uld  may accomplish his goal from the grave, the destruction of SG-1

Fin


End file.
